I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
