what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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