how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Randomize
