I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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