I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
