Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
