I think my fart just growled at me.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
