remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
