i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
