11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
