I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
