So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
