So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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