There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
