PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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