the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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