I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
