Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
