I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize