he wants to bone in the snuggie
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
