its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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