We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
