I'm really into asian looking animals
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
