You're completely useless in the revolution.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize