i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You were trust falling into bushes
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize