So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
it glows. i had to have it.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize