Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
