Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
kristin has been a bad kristin
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
