ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
