thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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