I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
