sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
