True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Go christen that room with your naked body.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
