i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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