I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize