so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
