the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
