ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
This is the high leading the old right now
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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