do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Bring me that man meat
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
