That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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