i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
