When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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