I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
