So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
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