Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
