and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
