So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
