i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
