i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize
