All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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