i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
