one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
