I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
