I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
