the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
