OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
