Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Panties = found
Randomize
