Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
