I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
