Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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