so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
