oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
