I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Alive.
So much puke
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
