fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
