Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize