Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
